In review of our latest "Brown Bag" guest speaker
we learned that a crucial conversation is any conversation where the stakes are
high and opinions differ. Uncomfortable conversations can happen anywhere, at home or
at work and without the proper communication skills these situations can
quickly become HEATED!!
1. Start with Heart – What is the desired result from this conversation? What exactly is at stake? You have to ask yourself these questions to determine how important this conversation is to you and your career. Knowing what is at stake going into the conversation will help you stay true to your convictions.
2. Learn to Look – Be on the lookout for a lack of mutual purpose. Continuously ask yourself whether you are leading the conversation with dialogue or defensiveness. And if you or the other party strays toward the latter, protect your conversation from going downhill with an expression like “I think we’ve moved away from dialogue” or “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to force my ideas on you.”
3. Make it Safe – When you notice that you and others have moved away from dialogue, do something to make it more comfortable. Ask a question and show interest in others’ views. Apologies, smiles, even a request for a brief “time out” can help restore safety when things get dicey.
4. Master your Story – Retrace your path to find out what facts are behind the story you’re telling. When you have the facts on your side, it’s hard to deny your argument.
5. State your Path – Share your facts and conclusions in a way that will make the other party feel safe telling their story, too.
6. Explore Others’ Path – A dialogue allows you to actively inquire about the other party’s views. Now that you both understand each other, you can emphasize which parts you agree upon and the areas in which you differ.
7. Move to Action – Come to a consensus about what will happen, document who does what by when and settle on a way to follow up.
The authors believe that mastering these steps reduced the failure of team projects by half and showed effective results in many other situations – both personal and professional. By knowing how to handle these crucial conversations, you can become influential; the type of person who can solve problems and get things done while also strengthening valuable relationships in the workplace.
